Thursday, March 04, 2010


If we shall say that, it’s hard for someone to find the way into the heart. It’s doubly hard to let them leave. In planet earth, most of the human lives are attached, with emotional attachments. Like it or not, we will have to live with it. Trying to be conservative and closing the way to you, might make things worse, loneliness. And allowing many would makes things equally difficult as allowing none.

My wife and kid are spending their vacation back home and I am living alone bombarded with emotions. Man it’s hard for me to stand, sometimes often.

There are some people who have got their PR in your heart. It may be your family, friends or your co-worker. Sometimes they are in your heart, since you respect them, or sometimes you like them, friends for example, or you love them, as your kid, Mom, Dad, Wife, Siblings, … You never miss those people you respect, for example, your manager in your first job, or a brainy co-worker that you admired. But you miss friends, and family. Sometimes it’s hazy when we try to differentiate the feelings towards a friend and a family member.

Recently, I started liking weekdays, as I am busy with work, and the room for emotions squeezes out into vanity. But once you return home, its cold, heater doesn’t help, yes, you seek warmth, and man-made heaters are useless. You miss the warmth of your family, friends, and the need to socialize. You live to perform the ever mundane tasks of making things that are faster, cheaper, lighter, etc. and all things that we think can make your company’s stakeholders rich. Mundane task, oh these mundane tasks. Sometimes there is a feeling that everything is Mundane, tennis, photography, eating, drinking, everything. Why!

Initially, I judged it as depression, till I started listening to Anto over the telephone, saying “arigato”, “potato”, and a host of non-decipherable words. They echo in my ears, long after he speaks to me. He’s a kid, and never talks for more than a minute, and his creative words, which only god and angels can understand. Sometimes, I listen intently to what he speaks, the more I concentrate, the less I make out. So these days, I just listen to the tone, which he changes with finesse. Probably, like his father, he may talk people into anything or is he an orator of some sort. Well, frankly, I have no idea. I miss him, that’s it, and sometimes terribly.

Sometimes you might assume that some of your friends might compensate these loneliness with their friendship. But, probably, you, and your heart, don’t want any compensation. They just want what they want. They never seek compensations. They don’t use their head, they are heart, the emotional part …

From time to time, I clean my home to find his table spoon, well below the TV stand, or the refrigerator, just to smile at it. I would have yelled at him, when I see him doing that, but now I simply miss those things.

These emotions, are without doubt, hard, but are wonderful. I want to cherish them with joy. But it beats me, more than often …

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